Arnab Goswami’s the guy with the bullhorn tongue, owl-like eyes, a hyena-like morbid sneer, and a chubby face — yeah, he’s an animal, no doubt about that.
His interrupting guests and insulting them is termed as fearless journalism and his biased and opinionated approach to debates is described as pathbreaking.
You can either intensely love or hate Arnab — there’s no emotion in between.
No matter what you think of him, it seems that Times Now has found the perfect formula to attract eyeballs — by insulting, harassing, bullying guests, creating needless controversies and suggesting conspiracy theories with an occasional Kalmadi or a Vasundhara Raje thrown in between.
Arnab is the chosen mercenary. He’s not curious about the topic because he’s either been tipped off or has formed an opinion. He doesn’t discover things in his debate because he’s already drawn a conclusion. He doesn’t read the fine print a guest presents him with, and doesn’t dig deep because his conclusions are already drawn.
Over a period of time, Goswami’s verbal diarrhea, sound, fury, cacophony, interruptions, chiding and insults may already have taken a toll on his guests in the form of one or more of the following deadly mental diseases:
Full Duplex Communication Disorder
This is a brand new mental disease that occurs when a person discovers that he can talk and listen at the same time, even when he and his counterpart are shouting at each other simultaneously.
This can be a freaky occurrence because the brain has to think when you are speaking and think again to process what you are hearing. But the brain works sequentially — it cannot multitask. It allows you to walk and talk at the same time, but when it comes to talking, listening and understanding what is being spoken, the brain freaks out. It’s like changing your underpants while ice skating — it just can’t be done unless you’re locked inside a loony bin. Or on Arnab’s.
On Arnab’s debates, the going gets worse — People listen and shout at the same time with Arnab providing the chorus turning each guest’s brain into a rancid vegetable.
Scientists should also analyze guests’ brain before and after a Times Now debate to figure out the number of gray cells that died a horrible death because of this crazy full duplex communication.
Walking Corpse Syndrome (Cotard’s Syndrome)
One of Arnab’s favorite pastimes is to invite guests and then either not allow them to speak or ignore them for the major part of the debate. Sometimes Arnab queries one guest and allows another guest to answer that question, thereby deepening the emotional alienation of the first guest.
The guest feels ignored and gets a complex. Inside of 15 minutes into a debate the guest starts getting delusions of negation and feels the denial of his self-existence. The disturbed guest begins putrefying mentally from then on and within 30 minutes into the debate, starts negating the existence of his own body, flesh and blood.
By the time he’s out of the Times Now studios, he is in a complete state of denial of his own existence and becomes a walking corpse. This is why you come across so many neurotic, unwashed and unhygienic zombie-like talkers on Goswami’s debates.
Lesch-Nyhan Syndrome (Self Cannibalism)
This is an extremely eccentric mental disorder that is inflicted because Arnab Goswami keeps screaming the following at his guests:
“Say sorry” or “Apologize to the nation”
“The nation wants to know why you did this or did that”
“You know exactly what I am talking about.” (even when the hapless guest has no clue, or has not heard the question in the din)
“Why are you in denial?” (this after the guest has affirmed or admitted)
“Give me a direct answer, yes or no.” (just before tormenting and insulting the guest some more)
A rush of emotions overwhelms the already-fragile brain of each guest. They feel angered, saddened, abused, battered, fanatical, desolate and congested at the same time.
These emotions combine to create a lunatic holocaust, which prompts the guest’s body to produce gallons of uric acid. When uric acid flows in each guests veins, their flesh get tastier, thereby triggering self cannibalization.
I suspect that guests like Tom Vadakkan (Congress), Sandip Patra (BJP) and Suhel Seth (an eMoji in flesh and blood) have gotten their teeth removed to prevent themselves from biting their lips, arms and legs during a debate.
Arnab Goswami is a cross bred politician cum anchor. His grandparents were affiliated to Congress and CPI, while his parents are pro-BJP. His political wires may be crossed, but unfortunately, his tongue and Duracell vocal chords are not. And his guests and the country are paying a heavy psychological price.
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