First, the good news: According to a Times of India survey, 76% of Indian women and 61% of Indian men don’t consider infidelity immoral. Not to be stopped at that, the survey participants went on to add that “81% of men and 68% women said their affair has had a positive effect on their marriage.” Infidelity means cheating in layman language.
This shows that we may be fast moving towards a free-for-all, oversexed, bohemian society.
If that were true, this whole article would be redundant. If humans are so okay about their spouses having an affair, who gives a shit about non-verbal cheating signs?
Unfortunately, and in our opinion, this survey may well have been sponsored by a condom manufacturer. The reality is something else.
Infidelity can trigger jealousy, violence, breakups and other social nasties.
People can cheat for a variety of reasons — self-gratification, ego, lack of intimacy, anger, lust, selfishness, and some more.
When people cheat, they somehow display their guilt in a non-verbal manner. They literally give the game away because a person who cheats on a loved one will likely be nervous, anxious, worried, scared or aggressive. The cheater just cannot focus or be in a normal state of mind, and can’t even spill his guts or pour his heart out to his partner.
Telling the truth can never be easy especially if it has the potential to cause unease, expose the admitter as a cheat, or wreck a relationship that has been nurtured over many years.
That said, many people do cheat and the bad news is that their partner does not understand the gestures they make, the deep breaths they take, the signs they flash, until it’s too late.
Which is why we have compiled this piece.
Nonverbal Signs of Cheating by Men or Women
- Cheaters who are not aggressive or subservient in real life may avoid looking you directly in the eye during a conversation. On the other hand, aggressive, combatant and confident folks will do the reverse — they will face you directly and maybe raise their voice in an effort to mentally spiff you.
- Changing or trying to change a subject without any reason is another sign. This happens because the cheating partner is mostly distracted and lost in his own ego and thoughts.
- Hiding the phone, indulging in hush-hush convos, cutting a live phone call when a partner walks in, deleting messages or factory-resetting a mobile device also could be signs of cheating. New and unknown friends on Facebook could also be a warning sign, but not necessarily.
- Burning cash on cosmetics/makeup/gym gear and spending a lot of time looking and smelling good, working out regularly, displaying tremendous energy, and being over flirtatious could be other tell-tale signs.
- Get intensely discomforted or extra defensive when posed with a direct question about their recent activities (which can be a result of cheating) is another giveaway. The discomfort may make the cheating partner angry, combatant or even cruel.
- An emotional disconnect is perhaps the biggest sign of a cheating spouse. Cheaters in any relationship tend to slowly drift away from their partners.
- “I need space,” can very well be a classic giveaway. It’s a fashionable line, but can have deep and dark undertones.
There always will be exceptions to the rule. For example, an introvert husband who’s getting hell at office may not open up to his wife if he suspects her of cheating on him, or if she’s very aggressive. He may display all the classic signs of cheating, but the reality may be something else.
Typically, men love to bitch about their bosses at home. But in cases such as the one above, though the husband may be making non-verbal signs of cheating, he may actually not be unfaithful. He’s all clammed up because either he suspects his wife or does not trust her or is scared of her, and would therefore rather bottle up his work pressures.
So, you have to apply basic psychology, empathize and use common sense when it comes to interpreting non verbal signs of cheating.
Remember, there’s no sure formula that can reveal infidelity. Therefore, do not jump to conclusions at the first sign of smoke — think, analyze, understand, empathize and observe before concluding.
Otherwise both of you will go simultaneously up splitsville and shitsville.
Image Credit: liveindia.in
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