Idiotic Science Education Courses

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Indian Students, Enrol For The Science of Batman or The Philosophy of Star Trek

There are the educated like David Cottom who feel, “Education is useless because it destroys our common sense, because it isolates us from the rest of humanity, because it hardens our hearts and swells our heads”.

There are the hoi polloi who figure that going to school is like gambling because there’s no guarantee you’ll be successful.

Then there is the majority of folks like us who believe that education makes us fine and productive citizens. Of course, we are supported by all educational institutions who live off our bread and butter.

But now, in the midst of this status quo, comes the news that there is a very reputed university that is offering a downright moronic degree.

Here it is:

The Science of Batman

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The University of Victoria, Canada has used Batman as a metaphor and developed this human conditioning course. It’s offered every alternate year but the guys who invented the course don’t seem to have researched enough.

Batman, during his physical conditioning years, was a wanderer. He travelled all over the world for 12-15 years and picked up black belts in each country’s violent arts. Question: If this idiot is so lithe and agile, why does he wear a batsuit that restricts his movements?

Now let’s take a look at Batman’s current conditioning regimen. For deadlifts, he works five sets of seven at 620 pounds, which are immediately followed by 30 reps of 310, which is coupled with a half mile of swimming and 30 minutes of sparring.

This is just in the morning.

Rest of the day, Batman works out some more pausing in between to eat and expel guano. He does get an outing every now and then when some moronic villain does something stupid in Gotham. He doesn’t read books, watch current political developments, cultivate a family, and he rarely socializes.

In other words, he is a muttonhead with a fabulous body, inherited wealth, a gay partner (Robin), and a body that is wracked by extreme itching after wearing a heavy costume with embossed nipples.

Is this the kind of talent the University of Victoria is looking to unleash on our already-moronic planet?

Will Indian universities follow suit and offer a medical course on “How ShaktiMaan Fought Deadly Whippings and Hernia For 5 Years?”

Who knows.

Don’t go yet. Here’s one more moronic course for those who are hooked on to barbiturates.

Philosophy of Star Trek

Georgetown University

Americans starting a course on Star Trek will perhaps one day encourage Indian politicians to spur universities to start educational courses on “Gangs of Wasseypur,” or “Ghajini.”

Anyway, Star Trek may have been entertaining, but it was downright stupid. For starters, the Trekkers listened to just jarring jazz music, nothing else. It’s great to trip on jazz for some time, but listening to trumpets and wind instruments with unfailing regularity can turn your brain into a soft raisin.

Secondly, Kirk was a womanizer. He fooled around with human and alien babes — yeah, you can say that he went where no man has gone before. To celebrate a womanizer like him and spread his philosophy all around America is like constructing a church for James Bond.

Except for squaring up with aliens, who were either good or bad, Star trekkers did not confront any moral or cultural dilemmas. Their solution to everything was cookie-cutter, “if this, then that.”

Then, there was no entertainment at all  aboard the Starship Enterprise. All they had was a holodeck, and these dudes were in orbit for years altogether!

I can go on but fact remains that Star Trek, though entertaining, was a schnooky venture.

And, guess what the University of Georgetown offers in their dunderhead course:

Discussions on time and time travel and whether you can go back and kill your grandmother?

Can people survive death?

Can machines think?

Can data be a person?

Are Spock’s danglers shaped like his ears?

Is making love with aliens as dangerous as they depicted in the Species movies?

Heck, the last two questions were a joke.

Whatever, join these courses at your own peril.



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